So Affected
Have you ever acted in any roles that after the show or practice, you cannot 'jump' out of the role immediately? I seldom have this kind of feeling but I do have 2 roles that kinda affected me for awhile after practicing. And when I say practicing, its a practice without interruption and with total focus and concentration.
The first role that I find very affecting is 祝英台, which as you all know, I am practicing now. Currently I am practicing the 十八相送 which is new to me because I didnt expect to be asked to learn this. Anyway I had to learn it so I did.
Recently, I have practiced alone at home. Everytime I finish practicing 十八相送, I feel very upset. I keep thinking about how 祝英台 is so hopeful of 梁山伯 coming to find her and they could be together. At the end of 十八相送, she know that this might be the last time she see 梁山伯 or the last time they can be so happy together. The feeling of 不舍 is so strong in me. Maybe because of past experiences? I don't know lor. Maybe it brings up some sad memories in me without me realising it. Sigh..I almost cried after practicing! I didn't feel like talking, just feel like stoning..
I think something is wrong with me cuz I am just practicing alone! Not like I got a real 梁山伯 here for me to hug! Well, maybe because I am practicing alone, I am stressless, I can totally put myself into the emotions. Maybe got other people around me, I will control myself.
Or maybe I should take some anti-depressant before practicing.... LOL
The other role that affected me was 柳燕燕 in 龙凤箱. However, I didn't feel as strong for this as I did for the above one. I think it's because everytime during rehearsal, I get a lot cuts and interruption so I didn't really fully concentrate. However, during the actual show, I felt more strongly for it and it also affected me after the performance was over. I feel sad for this role because this role apparently didn't get to live the life she wanted. She was just doing what she think she should do to help her sister. She is still so young, with so many things that she haven't done before and she is dead just like that.
Though I feel for this role also, it didn't bring up and past. Although I didnt know what kind of past 祝英台 brought up, I just can feel that it has dug up some really old wounds. Maybe it is one that I have been trying to forget so even though I cannot remember the actual thing, I still can feel the pain of that experience. It's very complicated, I also dunno how to explain....
Haiz, anyway, I feel super duper mega sianz!
The first role that I find very affecting is 祝英台, which as you all know, I am practicing now. Currently I am practicing the 十八相送 which is new to me because I didnt expect to be asked to learn this. Anyway I had to learn it so I did.
Recently, I have practiced alone at home. Everytime I finish practicing 十八相送, I feel very upset. I keep thinking about how 祝英台 is so hopeful of 梁山伯 coming to find her and they could be together. At the end of 十八相送, she know that this might be the last time she see 梁山伯 or the last time they can be so happy together. The feeling of 不舍 is so strong in me. Maybe because of past experiences? I don't know lor. Maybe it brings up some sad memories in me without me realising it. Sigh..I almost cried after practicing! I didn't feel like talking, just feel like stoning..
I think something is wrong with me cuz I am just practicing alone! Not like I got a real 梁山伯 here for me to hug! Well, maybe because I am practicing alone, I am stressless, I can totally put myself into the emotions. Maybe got other people around me, I will control myself.
Or maybe I should take some anti-depressant before practicing.... LOL
The other role that affected me was 柳燕燕 in 龙凤箱. However, I didn't feel as strong for this as I did for the above one. I think it's because everytime during rehearsal, I get a lot cuts and interruption so I didn't really fully concentrate. However, during the actual show, I felt more strongly for it and it also affected me after the performance was over. I feel sad for this role because this role apparently didn't get to live the life she wanted. She was just doing what she think she should do to help her sister. She is still so young, with so many things that she haven't done before and she is dead just like that.
Though I feel for this role also, it didn't bring up and past. Although I didnt know what kind of past 祝英台 brought up, I just can feel that it has dug up some really old wounds. Maybe it is one that I have been trying to forget so even though I cannot remember the actual thing, I still can feel the pain of that experience. It's very complicated, I also dunno how to explain....
Haiz, anyway, I feel super duper mega sianz!
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